Monthly Archives: December 2010

Poem: Statistical Lasting

That life is but a school,
For the bold, the broken, the bleeding.

Where they find a way of reducing you,
Into dish water.

I can hear you hissing at me,
For these terrible claims.

I survived that life with only my pride,
Come back later when you’ve felt the slap of a feather belt.

They tend to sting more than you think,
Twist your mind in upon itself.

They touch you experimentally,
To find the best way to push you off sanity.

Take action and stand true,
The men in the black coats can’t have you.

Unlike the man in the moon,
Who’s enchantment is purity incarnate.

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Poem: Cleared Facility

Would you be willing to tell me a story,
About children who are lost,
Like we were when we were small.

That was an era of fantasy,
When we crawled through our own skulls,
Pretended to drink tea,
Found ourselves lost in conversations with birds.

Directed by gourds to play fake tunes,
Tell me the story my friend,
Turn me into a child again.

My Inspiration


Round And Round We Go

So, this is where we are: Nothing has changed since I went to the hospital last week, so they’re taking me off my medication and we’re going to see if anything changes between now and Monday, on Monday I will actually get to see MY doctor.

I’ve seen two other doctors (who have told me two different things) and I really just want to sit down with Dr. Davis and talk about it.

Hopefully all will go well and I can go back to work Monday.


Poem: Lower Disagreement

A lover’s final kiss,
Borrowing my soul for a moment,
Cursed twice,
Just to be thrown back to sea.

To leave a lady standing there,
Starfish tangled in her hair,
Running from a broken clock,
Listening only to the tick and the tock.

Your heart shall decay,
Your mind shall rot,
Fair lady shall live on,
Flowing with the tide.


Just Wanna Know!

I was woken up at 6:30 am this morning by my oldest cat (Polgara) scratching at the bedroom door, we’ve been shutting the cats out of the bedroom at night due to the antics of my baby cat (Ce’Nedra) but Polgara can’t stand to not be able to get to me. She’s very persistant and when I finally got up to go tell her to stop it was almost 7. I went to the restroom with the intention of going back to bed, but I relised It wasn’t going to happen. I’m too anxious about this docter’s appointent that I have this morning. I dreamed last night they decided to let me have her, I know that’s the least likly option but it’s also what I’ve been trying to prepare for over the past few days. Just in case.

I feel rather icky this morning, I dunno if it’s something I ate yesterday, general pregnancy ickiness, or just the combination of all my fears displaying in my body.

I just want to get to the appointment and KNOW. Not knowing, that’s the worst part.


Poem: Fine Vocal

Coming into my life,
Was unexpected to say the very least,
Those smells mixed with my soul,
I knew I could never be the same.

I knew it would take some convincing,
To break away from,
Sanity mostly,
Followed by pride.

When I saw respect waving goodbye to me,
I became more aware of the heartbeat inside,
So I watched every star as it skipped by,
Then I knew

                          You’d bewitched the pumpkin pie.


Ice Cream And Cake

Last night was my last Christmas of the year, I thin we had a total of 6, though I’m not sure. I’m very excited about the things I got, to top of my list being: Alice in Wonderland teapot (from my aunt-in-law), Sally Rag Doll perfume (from my mom), a panda pillow pet (from my husband), heated blanket (from my mom), socks with gel pads in them (from my mother-in-law), a foot massager (from my grandmother), and a pocket watch necklace (from my sister-in-law).

A few things I would like to have at this point, some drawers, a digital picture frame, and more Halloween/Alice in wonderland decorations.

For those wondering about baby, I’m still having contractions around the time I take my pill and when I first wake up, I’m surprised they don’ wake me up in the middle of the night. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow that everyone is waiting on with bated breath. I doubt we’ll have her to-morrow, but my guess is I’ll STILL be grounded from work and still on medication. Though I only have two more doses of my antibiotic, then I’ll be down to one pill every four hours.

I went ahead and got my hair cut and colored my roots, going to do my nails at some point today. It’ll be one less thing to worry about when she does get here, and it makes me feel good.

My kitties are being very sweet to me and each other this morning, which is good because Ce’Nedra was awful last night.